Successful conflict resolution
begins by knowing the psychology behind your conflict ...
Why conflict happens
What to do about conflict when it happens
How to prevent conflict from coming back
To know the psychology behind your conflict
is crucial to its successful resolution. This is the foundation of successful conflict
resolution, and this is what you will learn, in our conflict resolution training
programs.
Let's face it, it doesn't matter how good you are at confronting
conflict and difficult people, if your conflict resolution strategy doesn't include proven
methods for not only resolving, but preventing, and managing conflict, you are going to face the
same conflict problems over, and over (and over), again.
And who needs that, right?
Remember, in masterful conflict resolution, hitting conflict head
on does not equate to successful resolution, unless of course, you set in motion the complete process
of conflict management and prevention in addition to the resolution of the conflict
problem.
Conflict resolution | Here are
ten causes of conflict and a solution for each cause ...
Conflict over goals and priorities Arguments about whether a company should focus more resources on international
marketing or on local business development, is a conflict over goals. Disagreements over whether to
increase a company's training budget or increase its advertising for the next fiscal year, is
another example. Can you name at least one conflict like this within your
organization?
Conflict Resolution
Solution: Management must set, effectively communicate, ensure
understanding, and enforce its values hierarchy.
Conflict over methods Even when two parties have similar goals, they can often disagree on how to
achieve that goal. For example, all responsible parties within a company can agree the goal is to
achieve a greater market share ... but they disagree on how to achieve it.
Conflict Resolution
Solution: Arbitration. The organization can ask a neutral third party or
an industry expert to arbitrate the dispute.
Conflict due to competition for scarce
resources Two managers might argue over who
has the greater need for an assistant, whose budget should be in- creased more, or how to allocate
recently purchased computers.
Conflict Resolution
Solution: Management must set, effectively
communicate, ensure understanding, and enforce its values hierarchy.
Conflict due to competition for supremacy When one person or party tries to out-do another person or
party, you have a breeding ground for conflict. Let's say two employees are competing for the same
promotion ... depending on the personalities involved, the conflict can become very
pronounced.
Conflict Resolution
Solution: Management must set, effectively
communicate, ensure understanding, and enforce its values hierarchy.
Conflict caused by misunderstanding We see most often, that what appears to be interpersonal conflict is
really communication breakdown between the parties involved. Ineffective communication has a
high risk of creating conflict ... and that's why "effective" communication techniques are a vital
part of our conflict resolution training programs.
Conflict Resolution
Solution: When faced with a communication
that may cause conflict ... before moving down the path of conflict, ask the question “What
else could this mean?”
Conflict due to unmet expectations Most all of these ten causes of conflict contribute to the issue of unfulfilled
expectations. Divorce, firings, and most other forms of relational breakdown are caused
by the disappointment and anger of unmet expectations; and the main reasons expectations
go unfulfilled are because they are unreasonable, inappropriate, too numerous, unstated, or
understated.
Conflict Resolution
Solution: When expectations are being
determined, be sure to use active listening and questioning techniques to mutually set
and clarify expectations.
Personality conflict Even organizational conflict is often traced back to "personalities." This
happens when one or more parties differs with another, and contributing factors include how
he or she feels about the other party.
Conflict Resolution
Solution: Ensure your organization has
trainedeveryone to recognize personality
types including each type's inherent strengths and weaknesses, so that they
can understand and appreciate each other's differences.
Conflict caused by sensitivity or hurt
feelings When a person, often because of low self-esteem or insecurities, or other
contributing factors in his or her personal life, feels attacked by real or perceived
criticism or other interpersonal directness ... serious conflict can
occur.
Conflict Resolution
Solution: Be sure your organization
practices active listening and questioning
techniques to understand the root cause of the problem, and adopts the empowering belief that even negative behaviors have a positive
intention. Proper effective communication techniques will enable you to adjust
your communication to match the needs of the other person.
Conflict due to differences in
perceptions and values Different people view the world in many different ways ... and this is the
cause of most conflict. These differing views can be traced to a multitude of variants,
including upbringing, culture, race, experience, education, occupation, socio-economics, and
environmental factors.
Conflict Resolution
Solution: Management must set, effectively
communicate, ensure understanding, and enforce its values hierarchy.
Conflict caused by differences offacts Conflict over facts need not last long because facts are verifiable. A
fact is simply a piece of data which can be quantified ... or an event, that can be
documented. A comment such as, "It's a fact that you don't care about my feelings," is
neither verifiable nor quantifiable, and so in this case, it is truly a difference
in perception (see Conflict Cause 9).
Conflict Resolution
Solution: Arbitration. The
organization can ask a neutral third party or an industry expert to arbitrate the
dispute.
Conflict resolution behaviors
... Which of these is yours?
There are three basic behaviors in conflict.
Which of them is yours?
Fight
Flight
Resolve
I Win / You Lose Seeks to "win" regardless
of how it affects the other parties.
I Lose / You Win Avoid conflict even if it means
compromising or giving up important values, beliefs, or needs.
I Win / You Win Tries to find an outcome that allows all
parties to meet at least some of their values, beliefs, and needs.
COMMON BEHAVIORS:
Screaming
Threatening and/or physical violence
Refusing to listen
Manipulation
Creating alliances
COMMON BEHAVIORS:
Sulking
Crying
Avoiding
Pretending it hasn't happened
Giving in
COMMON BEHAVIORS:
Discussing the issue
Listening to others
Taking time-out
Explaining own perspective and needs
Compromising
Questions to ask yourself about conflict resolution behaviors:
What are some other conflict resolution behaviors that you
encounter when you are dealing with conflict?
Which of these conflict resolution behaviors do YOU use most
frequently?
If you are currently involved in a conflict, which of these
conflict behaviors is being used by the other parties in the conflict?
Conflict resolution video
...
Here is a quick conflict resolution tip from
conflict resolution expert Paul Endress. Watch as he explains and demonstrates how to use a good listening
physiology when working toward successful resolution of your conflict.
More valuable conflict resolution information:
Go to the Conflict
Resolution page within the Resources section of this web site.
Begin immediately to learn about conflict resolution, and how to
effectively deal with the difficult people in your life by getting our Conflict Resolution
online learning program now.
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